Ever been hurt by a buddy or a co-worker who is against your idea?Well.. I have experienced such occurrences where conflicts occur and I didn’t know how to solve it.
Instead, I took it into heart and stop talking with the person.If such happenings occur to you again, I hope you will not deal it the same way that I did.
So after looking around for ways to resolve conflicts, I found a few, very useful ones for you.
Most of the time we can’t resolve conflicts is because we often focus on our negative feelings and we don’t express our anger properly.
1. Tip of the iceberg: Are your hurtful feelings a treasure box keeping in all the resentments and stress? How long have you been angry with the other person? Is it professional or personal? If it’s professional, I suggest you talk straight on with the person and tell them why were you angry with the work in the first place. Here, it’s important to tell the person, that you are not angry with them personally, it’s just that the work is not what you want. From here on, you need to communicate with your team members and remind them that you are a team. If it’s personal, I suggest you to talk about it privately and express your feelings properly. Listen to the other person and tell them what you are not happy about. If it’s a minor thing, just let it go. If it’s not, then you would have to communicate with your friend/partner/family.
2. Noting it down: Write down all your feelings and prepare to face them to see if it’s logical or worth your time and effort to keep it in your heart. If you feel that it’s your fault. Write it down and give it to the other person. Resolving a conflict, I believe always begins with the heart of wanting an improvement.
3. Avoid blaming statements: Starting with the gun of- who’s right and wrong is never a good start of a conversation. Most disagreements are very one-sided. And it is really important to understand what the other side of the conversation is feeling and thinking. Understanding their perspectives and standing on their shoes is also important. But, it’s important to stand on your ground as well if it overrides your values and beliefs. You can understand without agreeing, resolve without following by listening to the other party.
4. Allowing space: Put a space for them to express their feelings first. These feelings may not be right or wrong, but first, listen to it first.
5. Accept the responsibility of making things better: This is so important especially to unresolved conflicts. This attitude stands as a mature foundation to understand each other better.
Anyway, good luck on your way of resolving the conflict. I hope you don’t repeat the mistakes that I make.